My former adviser recommended that I, on the eve of retirement, take out a mortgage on my fully paid-for home to buy a variable annuity from her. I would have gone from having zero layers of humans between me and a valuable asset (100% equity in my home) to three layers of humans between me and my asset.

First layer was her (collecting the fat commission on that annuity). Second layer was the insurance company selling that notoriously questionable product, and lastly the fund managers of the mutual funds into which the insurance company would invest my annuity dollars. Everybody would be taking their cut, and I would be last in line for value. How did I fix the problem? You'll notice I began by describing that person as my former adviser.

This is the kind of guy that I don’t actually want to punch in the face; I’d rather just have a good chuckle with him. One time, I was competing with another advisor who was offering a fixed annuity as their only investment solution. They were a pure insurance agent, and apparently, that was all he could offer.

When the client chose me as their advisor over the insurance agent, they were not happy, to say the least. They were so disappointed in my client’s decision that they felt compelled to tell them (in a condescending tone) that their products had no fees, whereas mine did, and that they (my clients) were making a horrible decision.

No fees, huh? Well, yes, if you buy a fixed annuity that guarantees you 3%, you do get 3%. But for someone to use the argument that their products have no fees is ridiculous. There’s a fee for everything; there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Lesson learned: If your advisor tells you that their products have no fees, I would suggest you first prevent yourself from bursting into laughter. Then, kindly remove yourself and sprint out of their office.

Keep the case!

I had lots of commission fuelled bad advice from so called ‘financial advisors’.However one piece of advice really sticks out as the worst and also the turning point in my investment life.

The first part of the scam was my crooked accountant recommending an Executive Pension Plan at around age 34.

A pension planner was wheeled into my office and I was signed up and within a few days was then paying 250 GBP/Mth into this wizard investment that would give me a pension at age 60 totalling a zillion GBP p.a. OK first two rip offs, crooked accountant got a nice lump sum and commission for the next 10 years and pension planner got a lifetime rake off of everything I paid into the plan. In fact for the first two years all of the contributions I was making went into their pockets.

Fast forward a few years and the pension planner is back and well guess what my plan is underperforming so I need to increase the payments to 1,000 GBP per month. Holy shit ! I sign the papers and away we go. Now being curious, I do some investigation about how much commission I was paying. For the next two years half of my extra payment goes straight to the pension guy.

That was 9,000 GBP so I could see where my pension was going, exactly nowhere except into the advisors trouser pocket. Well that was it payments stopped and I realised I was being ripped off on everything, pension, investment plans, insurance the whole nine yards. Roll on 6 months I had my own pension fund and I was the trustee, I also had an insurance broker business with a very important client, me.

I never looked back and educated myself and will never ever in a million years take any shit from so called financial advisors. Look after your own money because if these guys were any good they would not need money from a loser like you. Remember Bernie Madhoff, there are plenty more out there.